The Road

Anyone miss me? Nah. ha ha. I've been MIA the last couple of months, I was fortunate enough to land a new gig in Burlingame. I'm working as a Production Artist/ Technical Artist. The role is new for me, but I'm getting to play in a very important and active roll for the studio. It's kept me busy to say the least.

So busy, my art has halted. And I feel terrible. I've seriously been having trouble trying not to beat myself up over this. I feel like I need to post this and explain something as well. I've had a lot of comments about what a website should be. And I've come to the conclusion that for me my site will not be a site you come to for incredible artwork. Post after post, nothing but f**king awesome art. I hope to post the best art I can, but I'm also going to write.

Because I feel, for some reason, someone out there might be able to relate to my struggles and can see they aren't the only one going through the same crap.

As much as I would like to post beautiful artwork all the time, the bottom line is I'm just not there yet. And over the last couple weeks I've been learning to accept that, and accept that my road is different than others and it's going to take me longer to do what I want to do.

My new job has brought new hurdles, the largest being my commute and the feeling I've lost all control of time. I spend almost 4 hrs every day going to and from work. I try and make sure I use that time as wisely as I can, practicing good habits is key. Unfortunately my art for my classes has slowed way, WAY down like I mentioned and I've felt worthless really. So much progress and it's stopped.

However, if I take a step back and reflect for a moment, has it stopped? Am I terrible? Just a year ago, I was laid off, I made the decision to change my focus and do whatever I could to start learning from the best. For the last 6 years I spent my time and energy on learning everything I could on running a business, becoming a better leader, finding financial backers, and stressing about not being able to pay my team. During that time I never really pushed my art.

Well that has changed, and compared to 2011 I've come a long way! I'm proud to say I made 3 new portfolios, each better than the last. Did I get the dream job? No, not yet, but I will. My road is longer than others and I'll get there when I get there.

I've also been coming to the realization that maybe what I wanted for so long isn't exactly what I want now.

Next post "The Journey."